Our fortysomething's hubby is like a rock when it comes to his health, so why is some of that chipping away now?
Jeanne Faulkner is a freelance writer and registered nurse in Portland, Ore. Her work appears regularly in Pregnancy and Fit Pregnancy, and she has contributed articles to the Oregonian, Better Homes & Gardens, Shape and other magazines.
My husband's been pretty lucky in terms of his health. Sure, there were a few back issues in his 30s, and the unfortunate incidence with the vasectomy (yeah, he was that guy--luckily a weeks-worth of antibiotics, pain pills and ice packs and he was all better). Otherwise, the guy's healthy. I'm the one who has all the issues--the history of breast cancer, the effects of delivering four big babies, the allergies, etc, etc, waah, waah, waah. I feel like I've done our family's time in health prison and therefore the rest of the clan should retain perfect health. That's fair, right? That's why it bugs me that my husband has a few recent health issues to deal with too.
He's been pretty good in terms of lifestyle. He was in his 20s in the '80s but really, other than a few too many martinis on a couple of occasions and a 10-year pack-a-day habit, he behaved pretty well. He quit the smokes before our first daughter was born and never picked them up again. He eats a healthy diet--vegetarian since dating me at the ripe old age of 22. He's been admirable about exercise too, ever since he turned 30. He's been a runner, a gym-rat and tried a little yoga (OK, that was funny). He even ran the marathon a few years back. His weight, like most adults our age, fluctuates a little, but he's good about pulling it back in line when it runs high. He doesn't drink much, and as long as we keep the cookies out of the house, he doesn't overindulge on sweets.
So why, then, the high blood pressure? Is it just something in the "as we age" category? He's just past 50. Stress? You bet. A couple of years ago he quit a job so stressful it about kicked his butt, but now he has a sweet job he likes a lot and does really well. Family issues? He has a really hot wife (oh yeah, that's me) and a pack of kids who adore him, including a second-grader who keeps him young. How many 50-somethings are still active tooth fairies? Our adolescent boy makes him play guitar and throw footballs, and a couple of college-age daughters keep him up to date in the world of music. Of course, he's had to live with me when I was sick. That was no fun. He's spent countless nights up with kids when I worked graveyard shift as a nurse, or when taking his turn when they cried till dawn with earaches. He recently taught one of our daughters to drive and, well, that was mighty stressful. Then there are the worries that come with dealing with aging parents (especially those that live and die with you). Supporting a family our size (even though we both do that) is no easy feat. Still, we've done just fine. Just garden variety realities of life.
Just like every man in the universe, he's reluctant to go see a doctor unless he already knows what the doc's gonna do. It goes like this:
I say, "Honey, you need to see the doctor about that cough you've had for two weeks."
He says, "Why? I don't know what he's going to do."
Me: "Right, you don't know, but he does. Just go. Then you'll get better before you cough up a lung."
Him: "Well, I don't think he can do anything really. I've had this cough for two weeks, what's he gonna do about it?"
Me again: "JUST GO SEE THE DOCTOR ALREADY! He's a smart man, he can cure a cough."
Him again: "OK, OK, you don't have to yell at me."
Finally, he goes to the doctor, gets some cough medicine and antibiotics for bronchitis and voila--all better. Big Surprise every time.
He's not the kind of guy who makes a big production out of being sick. Women love to rag on guys like they're babies. "You'd think he was dying when all he had was the sniffles." Nope, not my guy. He has to be pretty darn miserable to stay home from work, and even then he doesn't bring down the house with it. No drama, no whining, just a ratty, old T-shirt, a box of Kleenex and a day in bed. He sleeps it off, wakes up the next day and goes to work. No biggy.
I guess that's why I find his somewhat elevated blood pressure so disconcerting. He's practically perfect in every way, lives a healthy lifestyle and is a generally happy guy with a good life (and a terribly hot wife…did I mention that?). He's a rock. Why, then, shouldn't he have perfect health? If he can get high blood pressure, then anything's possible. How would we go on if something awful happened? I already took the bullet for the health of this family. And I'm all better now, so…we should be done with all that, right? In his truly non-dramatic manner, consistent with his title of Mr. Cool, he'd say, "Life happens. Just deal with it."
Oh yeah! That's right, isn't it? Sometimes, life just happens and
your body does its best. Sometimes it works like a well-oiled machine
and sometimes it gets a little high blood pressure. Suck it up.
Exercise a little more, drop a few pounds and take your medicine.
Switch jobs to one that's not going to blow out an aneurysm. Toss in a
little acupuncture and some vitamins and go on about your business. God
I love this guy. So practical, so matter of fact. He's such a rock. I
want his attitude--and his health history.
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