Help! I've fallen off the yoga mat and I can't get up.
Jeanne Faulkner is a freelance writer and registered nurse in Portland, Ore. Her work appears regularly in Pregnancy and Fit Pregnancy, and she has contributed articles to the Oregonian, Better Homes & Gardens, Shape and other publications.
It seems I've taken my slacker attitude a bit too far. I've fallen off the exercise wagon and it's only the middle of January. Sure, I've done a little walking, but not one speck of yoga in weeks. Why? Oh, I've got good reasons. Don't we all? None of us really intends to dump our New Year's resolutions. It just happens. And so easily. But here's the thing of it: I still hate being achy with arthritis, cranky from lack of exercise, and most of all (I believe I've mentioned this before), I hate it when my pants are too tight. So, here's my list of good reasons not to exercise, and my own personal pep talk to get me going again.
1. I've had a ton of work and no time to do yoga.
Yeah, well, so what? When your bones creak loud enough that people in the next room can hear, you'll still have too much work to do. Doing yoga makes you creak less. Working a lot without working out makes you cranky. You feel totally sorry for yourself when you're overworked, over-stressed and under-yoga'd, so put down the computer and put on your stretch pants. You're going, honey, and that's all there is to it.
2. My kids are home for winter break and I want to hang out with them.
Right, like their schedule of sleeping until noon is really cutting into your workout time. Sure it is. And how much are they going to want to hang out with you if you're stressed out, anyway? Go to the dang yoga studio, and for that matter, drag their butts out of bed and take them with you.
3. The little kids have the flu and need their Mama to hold their hair and wipe their faces when they barf.
Uh huh--that's true. It's on the list of punishable parenting offenses to leave sick kids alone and neglected. That's why they offer yoga classes all over town at all hours of the day and night. You can go early, late … whenever an adult kid or spouse is home to do barf duty. Just to drive that point home, if you insist on neglecting your own health by cutting out the exercise, somebody's going to have to hold your hair. And that's not going to be pretty.
4. Well, the holidays kept me pretty busy.
Yeah, but they're over. That excuse holds no water. Move on.
5. It's really dark in the morning. I just feel like sleeping.
See excuse number 3: They offer classes all over the place all the time. Sleep if you must, but pull out the yoga mat and do a downward dog, doggone it. Being a sleepy slacker isn't going to cut it. Plus, there are other forms of exercise beside yoga. Remember that new bathing suit you bought? Put it on and go for a swim. Those hiking shoes that haven't seen any new mud in months, so, go on, git.
6. My neck aches, my hips are tight, I'm not sleeping well and I'm too tired to work out.
Duh, you big dummy. Of course you're hurting, inflexible and tired. You're lazy and likely to put on weight, too. Hmm, let's think this through. Could it be because you're not getting enough exercise? Remember how good you are at insomnia? It's your biggest talent. Remember how when you exercise you sleep better? And those tight hips? Yoga, remember? What's going on here? No exercise equals pain, stiffness and insomnia (and tight pants). It's not rocket science, missy.
7. I just don't feel like it today.
So what? Quit your bellyaching, Eeyore, or you're going to be as fat
as Pooh and stuck in your tree with a bunch of sticky old honey. Nobody
likes it when you do that.
There, now that I've chewed myself out thoroughly, I really am going to
today's 1:30 yoga class. As God is my witness, I'll never be lazy
again. I'll be flexible. I'll sleep like a dream. I'll be mellow, happy
to be alive, healthy and not creaking like an old door. I'll also avoid
worshiping at the porcelain throne because I'll boost my immune system.
I'll be more productive at work because I'll be clearing my mind of
stress and clutter and making room for creativity. Plus, I'm going to
buy some new workout clothes so I'll be cute in class. That's always an
excellent motivator.
Funny post. We all get into ruts - especially when it's so darn cold outside. I teach yoga and I still find myself in slumps, especially now that I'm pregnant. Maybe it would help just to roll out your mat in your living room, turn on the tube (I know, very ANTI yoga) and get into a favorite pose like down dog. Then start to flow into a few more and before you know it you tune out the TV or literally tune it off and you've done 10-30 minutes of yoga! YEAH!
Good luck. Glad I found your blog.
Posted by: YogaMama | February 29, 2008 at 09:33 AM